YOU JUST WANTED TO THINK ABOUT IT FOR A MOMENT.
That was Tuesday.
Actually, the whole thing was pretty manageable.
One sentence.
One decision.
Maybe a message you still wanted to reply to.
Nothing you should have needed to pack provisions for.
So you thought about it briefly.
Then once more from the other perspective.
And because that one turned out to be surprisingly plausible, just to be safe, also from the other person’s perspective.
Then from your perspective on their perspective.
Just to be thorough.
By now, possible meanings have been examined, alternative outcomes simulated, and several conversations conducted that never actually happened.
Some of them went surprisingly badly.
Others you handled with impressive composure.
Unfortunately, no one but you knew about them.
THINKING IS A PRETTY USEFUL THING.
We can look at situations again. Play through possibilities. Spot mistakes before we make them.
We can learn from experience, recognize patterns, and prepare for things that have not even happened yet.
That is pretty impressive.
It may only become difficult when thinking quietly changes its job.
When it is no longer trying to understand something.
But trying to create certainty.
What did she really mean?
Why did he say it like that?
Was my answer right?
Should I have reacted differently?
What if it happens again next week?
And what does it mean that I am thinking about it again already?
At that point, the original question has usually left the building a long time ago.
The mind keeps working anyway.
MAYBE SOME QUESTIONS CANNOT BE THOUGHT ALL THE WAY TO THE END.
Not because we have not thought about them enough.
But because we are missing information.
Because other people are involved.
Because the future has not happened yet.
Or because some things simply do not have a state in which all uncertainty disappears.
That does not necessarily stop the mind from trying.
So it goes around one more time.
Just briefly.
You could call it overthinking.
Or thinking about thinking.
Or the very human attempt to arrive, through enough inner repetitions, at a point where nothing is left open.
The problem:
Life does not seem to have planned for that point.
SOMETIMES A THOUGHT IS JUST DONE.
Not solved.
Not clarified beyond doubt.
Just done enough to leave it alone for today.
Maybe something will be added tomorrow.
Maybe a conversation will change the whole thing.
Maybe it will turn out that the question was not that important after all.
And maybe the answer will suddenly occur to you while brushing your teeth, after you spent three hours unsuccessfully trying to force it.
That would not even be particularly unusual.
Until then, you could simply put the thought down somewhere.
Next to the cup.
It has been sitting there since Tuesday too.